I had forgotten what it was like to use a hair brush and a comb. Being follicly-challenged, I haven’t had to waste time with these instruments of confusion for many years, in fact *whispering* – a few decades if truth be told. The amount of time I have saved over the years through not having to deal with all that male grooming stuff is immeasurable – not to mention the money I must have saved by not having to buy products or pay barber’s fees. If I was to make some very basic calculations, by my reckoning, I use around an hour of time a year to keep my hair short and whatever the cost is in electricity. Every five or six years I may need to purchase another Wahl hair-cutting kit at around £15-£20 a time.
Sometimes I wonder what it might be like to have hair again, but I’m okay with very little, and I am happy and confident in my own skin, or should I say, happy in my own hair……or lack of it? Whatever – I’m bald and proud of it!
Being a ginger by nature, I used to get very hot and bothered beneath my thick head of hair when I was a teenager, so it is great to not have that mass of thick and unwieldy ginger, matting itself to my head during the summer months. Today I just need to ensure I have a hat with me at all times otherwise my head will become the painful type of red. The winter months bring a different kind of challenge to the hairless-head brigade – this particular season sees the hanging up of the baseball cap and out comes the fleecy hat when the risk is that the red will become a hypothermic blue.
I am now, as are many people these days – in a sort of lock-down; I still get out for early morning walks. Since the social-distancing thing started I have not cut my hair. I passed my usual two week point and kept saying to myself that I would cut it tomorrow or the day after or even the day after that. Those tomorrows never arrived and so, following encouragement from my wife, the lock-down hair is staying. I have tried growing a beard during the last year and decided after a number of weeks of irritable skin, I am not a beard man and off it came, with much relief. I am not doing the wild-whisker thing again during lock-down; I like to be able to kiss my wife, knowing that I am not sand-papering her lovely skin!
But having to brush my hair again – it’s just plain weird. Hearing the sound of plastic bristles running over my scalp is…..unsettling; it’s like hair is taking over my life aswell as my head. As soon as we are released from this lock-down, my hair will be released from it’s close proximity to my head. The sandy-greyish locks will fall to the floor and be cast away with the veg peelings and rubbish, never to see the light of day again. I will return to my (almost) hairless and time-saving head, until (and hopefully never), we return a lock-down situation.